Early Intervention Key in Bullying of Children

Bullying is everywhere in our society and while we’re often made to believe we are over reacting or being too protective, the truth is that we may not be as responsive as is warranted given the lasting impact on bullied children.

How should you respond to a child who behaves like a bully or doesn’t handle stress well?

It’s hard to know when and in what form intervention should be provided, so it’s important to know the right specialists to evaluate each unique situation. Early intervention is always the best approach.

My Advocate Center’s data encompasses decades of study on forms of bullying, coercion and manipulation of both children and parents, so it is my hope that you’ll spend time on this subject and learn from the resource material shared here such as the CDC brochure below on bullying and suicide risk.

Another useful tool speaks to coercive control and can be found on this blog as the Judicial Guide to Child Safety.

This Judicial Guide addresses abusive conduct by a parent and was presented to family and juvenile courts across the U.S., but the terms, descriptions and responses are helpful in addressing bullying in other contexts.

What we know for certain is that the better informed parents are, and the more support they have in serving the needs of their children especially when any form of abuse is involved, the greater the opportunity for their children to remain safe, healthy and peaceful.

There are many forms and styles of bullying and harmful behavior, so if you do not see what you are looking for in this resource, please contact me using this request form.

Deb Beacham, Founder of My Advocate Center, Inc. and Pro Advocate Radio

 

Bullying and Suicide CDC Report_Violence Prevention by Deb Beacham on Scribd

Warm Christmas and Holiday Wishes

To all who have been following and supporting My Advocate Center whether since inception in 2011 or in recent weeks and months, thank you and Merry Christmas!

Stay warm and stay kind, encourage advocacy and generosity wherever you are, and remember to put the needs of our children first and you will be blessed.

Deb Beacham, Founder

 

Advocates for Open Government and Open Records

Today was a fascinating day in the world of justice as I watched a packed courtroom full of people wait on the sentence issued by the Dawson County judge in Nydia Tisdale’s case.

There should have been no case to begin with, but since this was taken to a jury trial it became obvious that Tisdale had the most far-reaching and compelling support you likely have ever seen in a courtroom. Her legal team did outstanding work and Tisdale herself was like a beacon of bright light in that courtroom. That’s what the truth does, it shines.

Please watch WSB-TV in Atlanta at 6pm for the story and I’ll update this post soon with links to news reports, images and documents from this case as it will mean a great deal to all of us – as Nydia and her journalistic work will – for a long time to come!

With much gratitude to the Tisdale team lawyers, the politicians and other officials who testified on her behalf today, members of the press and many more who brought transparency into this trial and the issues in play, it is my request to you as you read this that you donate here to help Nydia Tisdale continue her priceless public service.

Follow via Twitter, @MPetchenikWSB for updates on this story, along with Chris Joyner @cjoyner and @alexisnews of the AJC and Robin McDonald of the Daily Report.

Deb Beacham

 

Judicial Guide to Child Safety in Custody

Having visited many courtrooms around the state of Georgia over the last decade, for extended hours observing and studying in clerk’s offices, I can say there is a marked difference between judges who have an eye and ear for filtering out abusive and deceptive tactics, and those who don’t.

This Guide was developed by the NCJFCJ for judges and other officers of the court to use for the specific purpose of enhancing child safety.

Coercive control is one of the key terms identifying the methods used by a parent who is willing to use children to harm the other parent and/or for financial gain. Being a compelling liar often goes hand-in-hand with the ability to effectively coerce a child or parent into complying with demands. Another sign that coercive control is being used is that the controlling parent and counsel are indifferent to the trauma caused to the children and the targeted or victimized parent.

Please download and share the Guide below, and contact the NCJFCJ with questions, and let me know if local case studies might be helpful for your staff. This Guide and the related Trauma-Response documents are equally important for law enforcement, child protective services and all first responders, especially pediatricians and emergency room staff and doctors.

What has largely been missing from those responding to the outcries for help made by parents and children caught in conflict is an understanding of exactly how harmful litigation is for victims of abuse and their children, and what it means when protection is denied.

For this reason, I’ve also included a compelling read on this facet of child safety.

For Abuse Survivors, Custody Remains a Tool for Perpetrators to Retain Control – Pacific Standard by Deb Beacham on Scribd

 

Judicial Guide to Child Safety in Custody Cases by Deb Beacham on Scribd

Child Safety Must Come First by US Representatives

Great news for children and parents being denied protection from domestic abuse, who are often harmed during prolonged child custody litigation.

Please read, share and contact your state’s leaders to join in with their support of this House Resolution No. 72.

Georgia’s children and parents are especially vulnerable, as hundreds of cases across the state now prove. Television and print news media and several independent journalists have documented professional conduct in what is referred to as “sensitive” cases, including by filing Rule 22 Requests to Record judicial proceedings.

The big deal about the conduct being documented is this: the way many Georgia child custody cases are managed often puts children in harm’s way as they are given to the parent most likely to cause stress or injury.  It is hard to fathom if you can not see it firsthand, but sometimes court professionals, including child custody experts, go so far as to deny children and adult victims of domestic abuse protection and even necessary medical and psychological care.

If you live in Georgia, you can find your U.S. Representatives here. Please encourage your representatives to read and support this resolution. And, in Georgia, learn how you can encourage leadership to keep our courts and court records open and accessible.

As these cases are usually cloaked by a veil of secrecy, and speaking about what is happening to the family is frowned upon and outright discouraged, it is critical that journalists are not restricted in recording judicial proceedings or in obtaining case records.

Both of these issues, policy to improve child safety and rules governing the ability to record judicial proceedings, need your attention.

Thank you!

Child Safety and Child Custody in House Resolution 72 / Bipartisan Support by Deb Beacham on Scribd

Early Intervention and Financial Advisors

The right solution is often a simple one.

If you believe that solving financial problems – or avoiding them – has to be a complicated and mysterious endeavor you could miss the best answer, which may mean the right advisor for your situation and life or business goals.

I believe that finding the right financial advisor early in life, early in a marriage, before starting a business, and early in the process of resolving conflict between family members is priceless.

Any time you are emotionally charged, under pressure to make big decisions, facing uncertainty or a major disappointment, you are served well to already have trust established with a solid, loyal and talented financial advisor.

Do I have recommendations? Of course I do!

My perspective comes, in part, from the study of hundreds of cases or situations presented to me through this website, and from experience in financial services where I worked directly with advisors and money managers across the United States.  Wisdom also comes from learning firsthand that not all financial advisors will give you all of the information or insight you need to make smart decisions.

During research of actual cases, I’ve noted how some financial experts make analyzing and planning more convoluted and expensive than the situation calls for, but emotionally charged parties aren’t in a position to recognize that value is lacking, or that key information is even being withheld. By the time someone realizes that they weren’t served well by the expert they were guided to use, it’s too late; the damage is done. Yes, I can show you what that looks like on paper and how it translates into bigger trouble in life. While I can help illustrate problems you want to avoid, the financial professionals I know and trust are the best at showing you what your best options are and then empowering you to act on them.

Early intervention is the way to go.

Make time before a crisis arises to interview and get to know advisors, and learn what value-added looks and feels like when working with a financial advisor. If you feel uncertain about a professional relationship and need to consult with someone else, let me know.

Coming soon: the next series of eye-opening interviews is under development, so please get in touch if you have suggestions for topics or would like to contribute as an expert or to simply tell a story that can help others reach better financial outcomes.

Above all, preserve your time and financial resources for the benefit of your family.

Cameras Needed in Courtrooms

Do Cameras in Courtrooms Make a Difference?

There is no question that our citizens are safer when there is transparency in legal matters, but some judges are going out of their way, even issuing gag orders to media in addition to parties and sealing records in select cases, to prevent a review of what goes wrong in child custody matters when laws, facts and evidence are ignored or concealed from the court.

For several years I’ve been observing, analyzing and reporting on issues in family conflict matters that are causing avoidable stress and loss to children and to loving, safe and available parents. At the center of all of my research and reporting is the needs of children, which too often are forgotten or just set aside. The reports are not what matters, but the possibility of improving outcomes for children; the correct term for this form of journalism is Solutions-Based Journalism.

This form of news media and investigative reporting may not be popular in some circles as it challenges the dangerous status quo, but if it didn’t matter, we wouldn’t be talking about Rule 22 laws and cameras in courtrooms in this state. This is a critical topic the public needs to know is being debated and decided, so I’ll share more of my work and that of other journalists to support understanding and participation in this debate. In the meantime, please ask video journalist Nydia Tisdale about her experience filming public events and proceedings, and ask how you can support her efforts to inform citizens and increase transparency. Her unique work has been featured by news media not only in Georgia but by the Associated Press for her bold moves to support open government and greater public participation.

The more you know, the greater likelihood you’ll contact your legislators and your local news media because we do need cameras in courtrooms and we do need ongoing reporting about how family conflict and legal matters are managed.

A major issue for all, including for ethical, talented legal and healthcare professionals, is that foul play by certain other professionals is rampant and worsening with each year. In part this is due to a vulnerable and unsuspecting public but is also due to a cloudy courtroom landscape where it is easy to disguise bad faith and unethical tactics used to increase billable hours.

Another factor in the worsening of predatory & harmful case management is that certain judges are willing to play along, such as in this highly unusual Augusta situation which was investigated and reported on by local news media.

In the case featured in the news report below, the judge gave custody of the mother’s daughter to her ex-boyfriend when he gave custody of her two sons to this man, their father. However, the man has no biological or legal relationship to the girl, meaning this child and her mother were tormented and torn apart unnecessarily. Note: I have no connection to these parties, no bias or preference other than for facts and laws to count for the children involved. After studying dozens of cases closely in the Augusta Judicial Circuit, collaborating with local news media & seeing news stories through to completion, I know these courtrooms and local practices well and stand by my work and these news reports. Also worth noting, this is not water under the bridge for these children and their families; the damages are ongoing, and more families are being harmed in similar ways as you read this.

The Featured Report:

If the facts and evidence of this case justified an award of custody to the father of the boys, that would be reasonable, but the court also ignored the physical, visible evidence of family violence.

In a separate conversation we’ll feature more of the instruction for judges pursuant to the Georgia Domestic Violence Bench Book, which should be required reading for court officers and court staff such as clerks, social workers and others working with judges on these cases. This Bench Book is available online and published as a 10th edition, with participation from dozens of professionals from around the state of Georgia, so it’s not a secret to our courts that family violence, including in making determinations of custody and visitation, is a matter to be taken seriously.

Please review this news report and ask yourself how this could happen, why a judge would do this, and if the judge is making this kind of ruling, what else is going wrong in his courtroom.

Another key question is whether or not this court and this family could have benefitted from the application of instructions found in the Judicial Guide to Child Custody.

Solutions to Consider:

First, learn about your local courts before you enter into a legal action. Learn about practices of professionals before you sign agreements and pay retainers. Understand why so many families are losing their homes, health and jobs during or following litigation and especially why so many children are kept in or moved to unsafe environments.

Next, learn about accountability systems that exist to provide oversight of professional conduct, including judges and other court officers and experts who help determine outcomes. Do you see any consequences being given to professionals in your area or are you familiar with any investigations into questionable conduct of those managing these types of cases?

Learn from the testimony of lawyers, doctors, teachers, parents, grandparents and others who are brave enough and articulate enough to state clearly what they experience or witness, and who are willing to call it what it is – especially if something improper has transpired, as in this Augusta news report.

Remember that all of these court professionals, including judges and child custody experts, are human, meaning they make mistakes, become fatigued and even worn out by the extreme emotions displayed in these cases; none of them, and none of us, are perfect. But the reality is that they have sworn to uphold our laws and they have a duty to do what is right by the children caught in litigation and who are often torn apart in the process.

Where you have the opportunity to encourage the use of cameras in courtrooms, with proper approval of Rule 22 Requests to Record, Videotape and/or Audiotape, to Televise or otherwise make publicly available these proceedings, please do so as it is highly likely you will help save lives.

Please contact My Advocate Center and let me know if you have questions or would like to contribute toward making these solutions available.

Thank you,

Deb Beacham, Founder

 

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