Yellow Ribbon for Kids

This campaign is being designed to bring kids home to the parents they need and love.

The only reason these parents are not able to care for their own children is that certain court professionals chose to put their profits over protection, over the needs of the children in divorce and child custody disputes.

No, this is not the case in every situation, but an astounding number of cases in Georgia and around the country are being exposed for professional misconduct – – that led to children losing good parents.

The Yellow Ribbon is the symbol and theme that we know well…for it says to us to expect a welcome home, and especially a welcome home from war.

This IS the war on our home turf that many parents are fighting, including those who serve and have sacrificed to support our military.  While they fought for our rights, many of theirs have been denied.

Missing parents? Yes, moms and dads, including many in our military, our veterans, have been told they aren't good enough... #YellowRibbon time?

Missing parents? Yes, moms and dads, including many in our military, our veterans, have been told they aren’t good enough… #YellowRibbon time?

 

Help restore these parents and children to each other.

#Stand4Heroes

#YellowRibbon4Kids

#MyAdvocateCenter

Green Light on Needs of Children

Who is STOPPING good parents from caring for their children?  …stopping them from WORKING so they can provide for children?

Spotlight on Augusta, Georgia and on Columbia County for what the local Superior Court and law enforcement agencies know is being done improperly to a good father.   He is a good, hard-working man who loves and misses his child, and he deserves our support and attention from our leadership and news media.

A Candlelight Vigil is being held to light up the dark and drafty space surrounding the detention center where this man is being mistreated.   See this event page to RSVP and watch for updates.

Now that this case has been investigated by others outside the local system in Augusta, we are giving the “Green Light” for people to raise awareness about the dangers to every parent in this area who might pass through this court system.  

WFXG FOX54 Augusta – Your News One Hour Earlier

The situation described in this video is disturbing, but it is also disturbing to us that a good father…also seeking to protect his daughter…is being held in jail on false allegations.  There are some very interesting similarities on these two cases.  Both involve DFCS, law enforcement and certain child custody “experts” and the numbers and rulings just do not add up.  Both are leading to damages to these children.  Damages that can be avoided and that should be corrected.

We are asking law enforcement and our state and local leaders to bring transparency into this father’s case and into Augusta to see why so many good parents are unable to care for their own children, why they are losing their property and jobs, and their health.  

The evidence of these cases dictates that these are the wrong outcomes.  What’s next? #GreenLightAugusta

What about the laws?  Are they being followed?  Keep asking, and show up for these families.  Follow #NeedforGreen to learn more about what is holding back good parents, leaving families in worse shape than before.  

This story from Texas is now going viral, and it is closely related to what is happening in Augusta, and all over Georgia:

 

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Please study local cases and ask questions, especially of Judge Michael Annis about judicial procedure and the use of evidence to exonerate innocent parties.  It appears the evidence was ignored here and a good father jailed because he stood up for his rights to parent and protect his daughter.  

He is fighting for his right to work and to provide for her — and for the chance to recover from what was done wrongfully to him in his divorce and custody case.

This father who is being held wrongfully, denied clean clothing for a week, being denied phone calls…is now writing letters to his daughter so that she knows she is not being abandoned by him.  Help him ensure these letters get to his daughter so that she doesn’t believe that he has abandoned her?  This is critical for her…not just for him.  (Please understand that THREE fathers in metro Atlanta have taken their lives after this type of custody case and mistreatment by court professionals.  We do not need another tragedy, and another Fatherless Daughter, for the State of Georgia to get the point: it is time to intervene!)  

Video testimony is helpful in getting what this is like, the reality for people in this situation, so please take a few minutes to watch this, and see that what happens to this woman in court is the SAME as what happened to this man who is now in jail in Augusta – away from his child who needs his protection and support.

This father wants to get back to work, so that he can pay child support, plus manage the outrageous fees put on him by these court professionals.   Let him out.  Let him work.  Let him defend himself. Give this child her father back.

Teens & Kids Who Miss Their Parents

Somehow you made it to this website, so thank you for reading this far.

Are you not sure what you should think about your parents?

What about why you haven’t had much of a relationship with one of your parents, or maybe no contact at all with a mother or father?

Missing a parent?  Not sure what happened?  There may be more to the story than you realize.  Maybe it's time to ask, and ask someone who will not be mad at you for saying what you need.

Missing a parent? Not sure what happened? There may be more to the story than you realize. Maybe it’s time to ask, and ask someone who will not be mad at you for saying what you need.

We are hearing this a lot.

So if this sounds like your life, you are not alone.

All the answers are not here on this page, but we can help you on the right path to getting answers and help you connect with people you can trust.

It can be emotional learning about this – about the answers as to why a parent seems to have gone missing from your life.

But if you really want to know, you can get help dealing with emotions and fears.   You can also get help working with whatever legal issues there may be.

Things are changing, and it’s your turn to ask for what you need!

Court professionals use a term called “alienation” and they are supposed to help prevent you from losing a loving parent, but that’s not always how it turns out. And that is part of the reason we exist.  We want you to have the best that BOTH of your parents can give you.   So send us a message through Facebook, or go to the Contact Us page and send an email if you want to learn more.

 

Fulton County: Pay to Play (Part Two)

 

Why raise the issue of “Pay to Play” on these child custody cases?

It’s a simple matter of the public wanting to know why the damages to good parents and to so many children are what they are during and following a legal conflict:

Some of the questions the public is asking include, “How many high-paid attorneys and custody experts does it take to influence a judge to ignore evidence and the wishes of a child?”  This is a fair question raised in Fulton, Cobb, Forsyth and Dekalb counties in similar cases involving child abuse.  It is fair to ask also, “Should this influence be allowed to stay hidden?”

It is a bigger question because many of these cases had possible outcomes that were faster, less traumatizing and expensive for the parents and children.

But the damages are not just happening to children, or around cases involving abuse.

Evidence of addiction and other misconduct / foul play is being ignored where it will allow a healthy and innocent parent to protect themselves. This is while certain professionals on those cases earn higher fees from that keeping that parent caught in the process.  It just takes lying to the innocent parent in saying “Oh, that evidence doesn’t count, or that misconduct won’t matter to the Court,” then creating more uncertainty by faulting the innocent parent instead of using available evidence, and the perfect storm is ripe for increased professional gain.

Parents are being told that the “trends” in family law mean that leaving out evidence is appropriate, and that means the financial losses & physical / emotional harm to good parents and children…is all fine, too. So we invite the press to ask, are these “trends” in line with our laws?  We know for sure they are not in line with common sense or with what our children need to be healthy and supported.

So this question on this Fulton case becomes fair game:

Does it really make sense that a GAL on a case like this one is billing over $133,000.00?    Wouldn’t the evidence on its face suffice to provide the right answers to the court?  How is this “trend” good for our children or our state?

Because of this coverage on these unusually high custody expert bills, many more cases have surfaced revealing that “things just don’t make sense” around amounts billed and by whom, and when compared to the evidence and facts of the case – and when seeing the damaging outcomes for children.

See the story posted below for the reason reporter Jeff Chirico did a follow up story on billing records and money.  Note that we have not seen one case with an innocent parent where these same professionals worked this hard to use their influence over a judge.  If they have such a case, our analysts would welcome the chance to compare billing records and the advocacy involved.

There is nothing wrong with making  a great living, or with paying experts when you need and can afford them.

The issue we are raising is that “neutral”  or “child-focused” professionals and their billing practices are doing harm in ignoring evidence that would end litigation and provide protections.

The results are reflecting that more innocent parents are being damaged in spite of evidence that supports them, while the actual perpetrators are able to get evidence ignored.  Either way the children are harmed.

Based on what we’ve seen in this case and in others, if you are guilty of something, then you have a clear path to follow in how to avoid losing in court.  Our point here is that the evidence of this case is impossible to argue with; and certain professionals are working hard to keep out the evidence, even those whose job it is to be “neutral” and to protect the child. (This statement is true and is based on the analysis of dozens of local cases, so we are not amending this statement until we see evidence to the contrary – which we hope will be the case in this next trial.)

If you are a good, innocent parent working to protect a child and to protect your rights, then hiring is a very different matter.  Having significant financial resources and connections as this father does, does not guarantee that the professionals you hire will advocate as needed on your case.  Money does not buy loyalty, but apparently it can buy a cover-up.  The cover-up can work in favor of a parent who is guilty of abuse, but in a number of cases brought to us the cover-up is done to protect a parent and professionals who have lied to police in bringing false allegations.

This means that in other cases, the professionals hired by affluent fathers are allowing their innocent clients to be set up to fail around false allegations.  So, if you are a father who has been falsely accused and lost big, do not make the mistake of thinking that this case may be like yours.  It simply doesn’t work that way – not based on a large number of case evaluations done over a period of several years.

So here is a tough question that is asked of us repeatedly:

Why is it that fathers who have been arrested in different jurisdictions, with reports of abuse substantiated, can use these professionals to hold a child hostage and harm an innocent, nurturing mother?  Then on the flip side, why are fathers who have done nothing wrong and have supported the mother and children (even in the face of adultery and addiction), being condemned and destroyed?

This is happening because it is profitable, and because there is no transparency on these cases.  The next question obviously is “where is the accountability” – does it exist?  The recording and reporting of these hearings is critical for both the public safety – especially that of children who barely have a voice to be able to ask for help – and also for the sake of the public trust in our legal system and judiciary.

If you are a professional who wants to see these cases adjudicated according to evidence and laws, and to ensure the safety of children and the rights of good parents, please look into this case and attend the hearing if possible.

If you are a parent who is uncertain about where to turn to safely navigate situations involving real or false allegations, contact us first.

* This post and this story are posted here together so that following the outcome of this case is easier.  CBS Atlanta did a thorough job investigating and reporting, and was threatened by Dr. Howard Drutman.

 

This is an excerpt from CBS Atlanta’s coverage on this story:

FULTON COUNTY, GA (CBS ATLANTA) –

CBS Atlanta News has learned attorney James Holmes is revising his $133,000 bill in a custody case, in which he served as a guardian ad litem, after reporter Jeff Chirico questioned his fees and his recommendation.

As a guardian ad litem, Holmes is responsible for advocating for the best interest of a 10-year-old girl whose identity CBS Atlanta News is withholding.

Last month, Fulton County Superior Court Judge John Goger ordered the girl live with her father despite allegations he had sexually abused her. Holmes and a court-appointed custody evaluator, Howard Drutman, recommended that the girl’s father receive primary custody of his daughter.

CBS Atlanta News obtained an e-mail Holmes sent to the parties, indicating his fees for working on the case from Spring 2012 through April 22, 2013 totaled $133,000.89.

Rally on Fulton County Courthouse Steps

When: July 8th, Monday after the holiday weekend.  During the lunch hour, 11am to 1pm.

Where: Fulton County Courthouse

What: #RALLY4Kids

Who: Concerned parents & those who support families and children, including church members, neighbors and co-workers.

Why are hundreds of people emailing and calling for help? 

Because it seems that certain judges are not allowing good parents to protect and care for their children.

Is it just because of judicial bias against a certain gender or against the color of a parent’s skin?  Or is there some other influence we cannot see or anticipate?

This message is not just coming from hundreds of people in a small area of Atlanta.  There are tens of thousands nationally saying the same thing.  But next week we are focusing on two judges, in one courthouse.  #FultonCounty #Georgia

The messages you can help us share here on Facebook, on Twitter, and over the phone or in email:

Serve the #NeedsofChildren 

#StopChildAbuse

#ImproveFamilyLaw by bringing attention to #FultonFamilyCourt and the actions of certain judges on certain cases.

Help us ask, “Why are you suppressing evidence of child abuse?”

“Why are you locking out good parents when their children need them most??”

“Why would you take a child from a great parent, take away that parent’s rights and steal their money, just to reward someone who is paying to suppress evidence of wrongdoing?”

“Why would you put a child into the hands of someone believed by several professionals, including law enforcement, to be abusing a child?”  And, “Is it OK to allow expert witnesses to be intimidated and prevented from supporting a child they believe to be suffering from abuse?”

Is this how the legal process and our laws are supposed to work?

What are we missing here?  We would really like to know what “best interests of the child” means in YOUR reality, because things aren’t adding up – not in a way that is HEALTHY for our children.

We would appreciate as concerned citizens, tax-payers, parents and neighbors being able to see if there is something we just don’t know about why our Courts are enabling misconduct and rewarding foul play.  Is there a good/legal reason for allowing children to get hurt, and to repeatedly be hurt?  If we are wrong on drawing conclusions in all of our CASE STUDIES across all of these cases, across all of these court rooms, then we would love for you to show us why these patterns of conduct make sense to you.

Please, discuss this with us and help us understand?  We know it is not because we don’t have access to talented, bright, law-abiding attorneys and psychologists, or access to good judges.  Correct?

Our community is filled not only with parents, friends, family, church members and neighbors; it is filled with educators, doctors/nurses/therapists, law enforcement officers and business people.  They all want answers and are tired of hearing the same terrible stories.

Many from all over our society are asking us to explain, because it just DOES NOT MAKE SENSE why you would NOT FOLLOW LAWS that are designed to PROTECT CHILDREN AND PARENTS.

Does this make sense to anyone you know??  Follow this event and talk to us:  On Facebook & On Twitter

Why is My Advocate Center promoting this event and these messages?

Simply because we need to, as so many children are being hurt.

Contact Us to learn more, join the rally or just see how you can help.

What’s next?  Parents, professionals and even policy makers are asking for intervention.  They are asking what THEY can do to stop the misconduct leading to injury of children.  So next we will be revealing case studies and answering questions with our panel of experts and officials in a larger Town Hall setting.  Date/Location TBD.

For now, please join these caring families, neighbors and church friends next Monday, July 8th at lunch time.   

Use your time and your voice to ask these Fulton County Judges and attorneys to change what they are doing to our children and their parents.

 

Golden Rule or Gold Rules?

You already know the answer.  When you choose how someone should treat you, it’s the Golden Rule.

But what about in a contest, especially in a high stakes contest such as in a divorce or in a child custody dispute?

Should the truth count – because that is what the children are counting on, so that they benefit from all both parents can give them?   Or should it be a matter of who is able to wield the most influence, especially the most HIDDEN influence?

What about loyalty and honesty toward clients – especially clients who are focused on protecting and providing for children?

Should Fiduciary Duty be expected, and if that duty is absent, should it be looked at closely?

This is just a sampling of what is being revealed about our Family Court system, as investigated by My Advocate Center and an ever-increasing number of parents and interested reporters.  Our work continues this month surrounding the fallout for children caught in this gap between truth and “other” influences.  The case studies resulting from this work are compelling, so please schedule time with one of our advisors if you would like to learn more.

Then, please turn to the children of the parents in these case studies.  Understand what this means for them when family conflict is handled poorly, or when loyalty and honesty are withheld from parents in high-stakes disputes.

Let’s ask that more professionals apply the Golden Rule around upholding duty, applying their best effort to helping children receive the best that BOTH parents can give them.  WHY would you NOT want to allow that to happen?  

Where we see that this is not happening, and children are being damaged, we are simply inviting these professionals to join us in shifting this problem.  Because it IS a very large, very high-impact problem.   It is time to do better here, and it is possible to be both successful, profitable, influential…AND to uphold the real Needs of Children.

We are here to guide Parents, Professionals and Policy Makers for the benefit of families who are transitioning through and out of conflict.

Let’s work together to ensure that the family’s resources go toward helping their children.

Isn’t that the BEST use of the Golden Rule?

 

The Looking Glass: How Children See Themselves

Why the focus on children for My Advocate Center?

Check out this video, then keep reading and join in on this event to learn more!

This is important for both parents and professionals.

We do what we do because that is what is missing from too many legal disputes related to divorce and child custody matters.

There is an enormous gap in how cases are handled that allows the needs of children to get dropped from the discussion.   Yes, it sounds good enough that the law says we are to decide and act on matters based on the “best interests of the child,” but what does that really mean?

Can you think of many examples where that was carried out in a way that meant something positive to the child involved?

Chances are, what you recall from your own case or that of someone you know is that your children lost out in more than a couple of ways.  That is sad given that the parties and the professionals claim to be working for the “sake of the children.”  Please consider this:

“Children get their earliest, most lasting impressions of who they are from what is reflected back to them by their parents.  These impressions become those ‘records’ in the jukebox of your child’s brain.”  This is the Looking-Glass-Self principle provided by psychotherapists to describe what happens, and you can read about more examples in the Parenting Roles section on the Focus on the Family website.  Please read their articles about both the Real Job of Mothers and the one linked here for Fathers.

Can you imagine what children are seeing in this looking glass – this mirror that IS the faces of their parents during a time of extreme tension, conflict, uncertainty, hostility, fear, duress?

If you care about children, then your focus should be on improving what is being reflected for children.  If a parent, especially the main caregiver is made to feel fear, then the child absorbs and learns fear – and there is no way around it…the child learns to see himself as fearful.  Anxious, Uncertain, Sad, Pained.  Naturally this leads to a greater need for attention, for self-soothing, and affects sleep, focus and relationships.  Not what you are going for?

If you are a Parent currently embroiled in a custody dispute, ask yourself & your spouse what your children are seeing, hearing, feeling.  Is it necessary?   Are you willing to change the dialogue & your actions to be geared FOR your children rather than just ABOUT your children?  If you aren’t certain how to have this discussion or what to do about increasing conflict, let us know.  The professionals we are aligned with get this.

The time to insert common sense and reason – on behalf of children – is before conflict starts to escalate.  Parents on both sides, as well as the professionals, need to consider what they are willing to risk around the child’s well-being before they go down the wrong path.

We have found that this is missing in the process, so everything we provide to parents, professionals & policy makers comes back to this one point.

The truth around Family Court practices – what our case studies show – is that too often the wrong outcome is being intentionally created, causing the children to experience the worst of both parents, rather than what is best.

If the process and attitudes remain as they are in the legal arena involving divorce and child custody matters, then too many thousands of children will continue to be sacrificed for the sake of something much less important.  They are being sacrificed for the profit of a few.

If you are not willing to allow this to continue – if you want to be a part of the Solution and not a part of the Problem, then please connect with us and  help continue this discussion.