Our Wish is for Children to Be Cared for by Safe, Loving Parents

These simple wishes this holiday season remain our top priority:

family, charity, healthcare, health. christmas, x-mas and happy

Return children who have been removed from parents they love and need. Prevent children from being sent out of state and isolated for the purpose of silencing them.

Restore relationships between children and parents when they are separated for all the wrong reasons, and even cut off from all communication.

Protect children who are being abused, including emotionally abused when safe, loving parents are threatened with the loss of their children.

Protect the rights of parents asking court professionals to ensure they stay in the lives of their children. When the opportunity presents, help them recover from trauma and loss associated with these avoidable problems.

Show some courage and help grant them their wishes!

 

Psychology Today Contributor Gets It

No, it’s not your imagination. You heard correctly: a judge ordered children into a detention center and then into a special “camp” because they reported on family violence and asked to not be subjected to further abuse. The children spoke up because they did not want to be separated from the parent protecting them.

This issue is not about gender but about ignored facts and profit motives of certain professionals; it is just a game that is played in family court, and it harms mothers, fathers, grandparents and always the children.

At My Advocate Center in Atlanta, Georgia, we have been receiving data from and reporting on cases involving (equally) damages to good fathers and to good mothers, cases in which nothing makes sense when you look at the facts and available evidence and testimony.

The gender war (along with racial bias) is encouraged by the professionals profiting from the conflict, so that one group believes the other is benefitting from a bias or “unfair advantage.” Money does often play a role, but it is not always the person with access to money and status who is driving or benefitting from the foul play. This is why our data and reports are valuable to authorities, and why we support both professionals and parties in organizing facts and outcomes; it is overwhelming for those subjected to this misconduct, and even to professionals trying to unwind the case and assist the victims. You might not see who is causing the damages, how they are doing it and how it is being covered up if you do not look closely enough, or look at enough cases, including transcripts, billing records and custody reports (if the report has not been put under seal, if the transcripts are accurate and complete, and if the billing records or file are not withheld.)

The Michigan story this Psychology Today writer reports on could almost as easily be featuring a father who has been wrongfully separated from children who have asked for protection from their mother. That is the situation in an Augusta case covered by The Augusta Chronicle. It was not the father who was violent (per DFCS records which were hidden from the father), the child did testify on his behalf as did a competent, ethical guardian, but the facts and the needs of the child were ignored…while the father was stripped of everything – his rights to and time with his child, his financial assets, his job, and he was put in jail.

This Augusta case and other cases we have investigated show that men also are abused, and men can be the “protective parent” while the mother is the one involved in a “pay to play” game to avoid consequences for her own misconduct. What is being done to parents, to both mothers and fathers, sends the message that you are better off staying quiet about abuse (from addiction, violence, financial or fraud-related abuse) than asking for the court’s help. Ask for help at your own peril…and at your children’s peril…not that you are better off if you stay quiet, mind you. But many are told, “Do nothing, say nothing, or this will get worse; you will never see your child…”

The wrong outcomes are being forced upon good people and abused children as frequently as you see panhandlers near a highway or intersection; it is just something that happens and that many people have become numb to, but this happens to an unsuspecting public and causes irreparable harm. Currently there is no way to recover, including no way to recover or to bring home these children.

Coercion and intimidation tactics, and retaliation methods, rule the day, just like we see in this Michigan case with the children put in detention centers, cut off from their mother and the mother put under a gag order.

Child abuse can be prevented_My Advocate CenterAs in other cases, the children are old enough to be heard and to be believed, and they were clearly not represented properly by professionals charged with the duty of representing their best interests.

Psychology Today contributor Jennifer Baker, PhD, nails this story and the problems emphatically with her pen, in this article and in others, including this one and this one. This case and the issues is raises are not going away anytime soon.

This is one reason we focus on the needs of children consistently when noting questionable conduct and outcomes. The term best interest has been so badly misconstrued or even corrupted that it has become meaningless, at least in terms of the results shown in thousands of cases across the country, and around the world. Children are being betrayed when they ask for help and often silenced as the judge did in this case.

It is almost impossible to fathom that this is happening, let alone that it is often intentional and done in bad faith and with a complete lack of empathy for the trauma being caused to children and to the parents they need and want.

This is also a reason we emphasize to legislators that loopholes must be closed that allow certain court professionals to block evidence and testimony that should be used to protect children and victims of abuse. Evidence and testimony should be recorded and used for the benefit of our most vulnerable citizens; it is just not that complicated, but our data reveals that the opposite is taking place when cases are easily manipulated and controlled by certain attorneys and select child custody experts. If you read the transcript of this Michigan case and the associated articles, you’ll see what we mean.

What is consistent across these cases is the motive:

It is simply more profitable to keep children and safe parents off-balance, unprotected and ignored.  They have to spend money to fight back, until there is nothing left to spend. But typically the other side – the side driving the stress and trauma – will keep on spending. Profit over protection has become a pattern or a formula followed by professionals who typically lack oversight and who believe there will never be any consequences for causing harm to children.

We advocate for children to have the best of both parents, meaning the best that each has to offer, and that sometimes means one or both parents need to receive a “tough love” message from the court or the right treatment for addiction or counseling to manage bad behavior, but it that message should NEVER mean sentencing and locking up children who have not done anything wrong. Unfortunately, children in many states are being convicted and locked away – from safe, loving and available parents and families – when they asked to have a voice and to be protected.

To learn more or to report details of similar cases, please visit our Report Cases form on MyAdvocateCenter.com.

Deb Beacham, Founder and Director

Missing Parents

For kids who have missed out on a relationship with a mom or dad after divorce:

If you believe that your mom or dad did not choose to go missing on you, consider asking for some help with research.   You may see that parent occasionally and be unsure of why you have so little time with them.  Yes, sometimes it’s for a good reason, but not always.  These words are here to help you see that you can at least ask the questions and learn more now that you are older.

Your situation doesn’t have to be related to a divorce, but the reason our team is focusing on “Missing Parents” is that we have seen some bad decisions by judges and attorneys.   Sometimes the court can get in the way of what is really in your best interest, rather than doing what is right for you when it comes to time with your parents.  The problem is that people just don’t talk about this very often, and not where you can hear.

We are not saying we want to give you false hope.  Sometimes parents don’t know how to be parents and can’t cope.  But it’s worth checking to see if the court professionals working with your parents did something that didn’t make any sense.  If you want a relationship with a parent you have not seen much, but are afraid to ask, then let us know.

Sometimes a parent is just unhealthy and really can’t be involved, and that is something you can face and learn to cope with if that is true. Our hope is that even a parent who had some problems can get the right help and learn how to be what you need.

There are other situations, though, where the court decided to cut off a decent mom or dad, and for no good reason.

We know of parents who are fighting to earn enough money to afford help, or to find a way to deal with a wrong decision made by a judge.  

Sometimes parents wind up in front of a judge who maybe wasn’t paying attention to what YOU really need and want.  

Sometimes attorneys get lazy, and other times the “Guardian” can make huge mistakes in how they judge a mom or dad who was given bad advice by their lawyer.

There are different scenarios around attorneys and judges that can interfere with what you need and with what should happen with your parents.  It may not matter what the details are, but our mission is to create more resources that you can use to find answers – – answers that help you have what you need from both parents.

We have learned that there are decent parents who are not allowed to even contact their kids.

Unfortunately this separation can happen because an attorney or a “custody expert” decided to play games at your parent’s expense.  Really…at your expense.  That interference is what we are working to help correct, so if our work can lead you to get a parent back in your life who never should have been pushed away from you, then it makes all of our hard work worthwhile.

At least now there is a way to find out more information that can shed light.

You deserve the best that both of your parents have to offer you, as long as they are safe for you and not inflicting emotional or physical pain.

You may be old enough now to know the difference and to want answers.   First, we ask that you find an adult you trust through school, church or a counselor to help you as you ask questions and learn more.

It’s not right what certain professionals are doing for the sake of making extra money, but if you’re strong enough there may be a better way to deal with this than to worry and wonder.  For sure you should not assume that the parent you’ve been missing left you because they wanted to.

The hard part in answering these questions is that you may learn that the parent you’ve been living with had something to do with cutting out your other parent, and was using some kind of manipulation to make that parent go away.

If that happened it’s not right, but adults are not perfect.   Even a decent parent can have a bad idea.  Some make mistakes and don’t want to consider that they might have been wrong.

They’re human, so if you’re uncomfortable with finding out just how “human” your mom or dad is, don’t deal with this alone.  [We have good counselors who can help with these issues, so just ask.]   There is some risk involved in asking tough questions, and in facing the answers.  This is something you can prepare for, and handle as you feel ready.

Just know you aren’t alone, and that things are changing for the better.  

If you find out that a missing parent wants to see you, and needs support or counseling in order to have a healthy relationship with you, then ask for what you need to make it work.   That parent may be more scared than you are, especially if some time has passed and if you were given incorrect information about this parent.   You may learn that even if you missed valuable time together that you can make up for it as an adult, and find that “silver lining” that you hear about.

It’s there if you look for it.

Missing a parent?  Not sure what happened?  There may be more to the story than you realize.  Maybe it's time to ask, and ask someone who will not be mad at you for saying what you need.

Missing a parent? Not sure what happened? There may be more to the story than you realize. Maybe it’s time to ask, and ask someone who will not be mad at you for saying what you need.

 

Judges, Attorneys, Guardians and Custody Evaluators:  We hope that as kids become old enough to search on the Internet and to ask questions about why a parent suddenly wasn’t around much after a divorce, that a number of them will find their way here.

Please do what is within your power to stop alienation tactics and to restore balance in family conflicts.

“Parental alienation” is a term that kids do not understand and should not ever have to learn.

Our data shows that many alienation cases would NOT happen if certain court professionals did not encourage this bad behavior.  You see often enough the GAL who rewards a vindictive parent who will pay for the opportunity to cause misery.   It is YOUR job to use evidence and laws to protect children from losing good parents.

MLK Day: Join the Movement

Join Parents & supporters of the civil rights that are being denied in Family Court.  Continue this movement.

Join Parents & supporters of the civil rights that are being denied in Family Court. Continue this movement.

“What are YOU doing for others?”  This was the premise behind founding My Advocate Center, and asking more parents, professionals, policymakers & civic leaders to get involved.

Join the group of parents and concerned citizens who are voicing the urgent need for Family Court Reform.

Children are missing good parents.  Parents are being denied the right to care for, nurture and protect their children.

This is not necessary to allow this to happen – not according to our laws, our constitution, and based on the facts and evidence of these cases.

Help these families recover while we work to prevent more of the same.

We can’t think of a better way to honor the memory of the ultimate “Game Changer” in the history of Civil Rights.

Thank you for your support, and for using your voice in a non-violent way.

Please see our Facebook event page for details:  https://www.facebook.com/events/640934305968467/

Then subscribe to receive the newsletter about this Rally on MLK Day 2014, Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta News: CBS Asks Why the Need for Family Court Reform

You may have learned over this past year that just because police and DFCS substantiate claims of child abuse, that does not mean the judge and custody experts will use this evidence to protect a child.

It does not even mean that the child’s THERAPIST will take the evidence seriously in order to protect the child…how is that even possible?  This therapist was chosen by the mother, but only because she had a credible background and substantial role in advocacy for children.  However, when money becomes an issue…it appears evidence and the medical needs of a child do not carry much weight.

This therapist would not listen to police, the child, other real doctors and is not trained to treat dissociative disorder.  This disorder can manifest for victims of severe and prolonged abuse.

This medical disorder and the signs of trauma are glaring in a number of cases in Georgia that are being handled much like this one.  Should our healthcare community and educators be made aware, so they can get involved to help stop this?  We think so.

Dr Danielle Levy decided that overwhelming evidence of abuse & trauma should be ignored.  $$$

Dr Danielle Levy decided that overwhelming evidence of abuse & trauma should be ignored. $$$

 

My Advocate Center has been researching cases across counties and collecting data, and unfortunately the pattern is the same.  If certain attorneys and select custody experts get together, they can put profit over protection.

By hosting the world premiere of the Divorce Corp. film narrated by Dr. Drew, Atlanta was able to bring together parents and professionals to expose the truth and discuss reform.

Continue reading and watching our news coverage as there is much more to report that will help drive change, should you choose to understand and then act on it.

 

 

This is the second in a series of interviews on this case, but the start of a national movement with My Advocate Center to help fathers understand what mothers like this one are going through.  We are all on the same team around protecting children who are being harmed by unethical court practices, foul play, and the “Pay to Play” system.

Guilty parties will pay large amounts of money to have evidence suppressed, and to retain access to their victims.   It is a “Pay to Play” system that allows violent or abusive parties to use children as pawns and to use the process to hide crimes and punish parents seeking protection from the court.

This “Pay to Play” concept also works in reverse, where certain attorneys counsel clients to lie to police – wasting our law enforcement resources – and use false allegations to gain advantage or punish the other party.  Either way, children are harmed, as is our State.  The case revealed in our local coverage fits the Pay to Play concept, and foul play is involved, but it is not a false allegations case as the father’s attorney is asserting.  Look at the facts of the case, the record, and what the professionals were paid to keep the available evidence and testimony – including from police – OFF the record.

There is more to follow, including the tactics of working to deny a litigant the opportunity and right to appeal.

Now is the time to get involved, and save these children and the good parents counting on our Courts and laws for protection.

Please follow updates about Family Court Reform and ask your legislators to help see this through.

Twitter: Follow @MyAdvocateCentr  using #FamilyCourtReform #ImproveFamilyLaw #NeedsofChildren #MyAdvocateCenter — and help stop these #shenanigans.