The Hostage Child, Fiction or Non-Fiction?

An unfortunately accurate title.  So what do we do about it??

In 2013, in Georgia, there was a hearing that was a continuance of an “Emergency” hearing that had been scheduled for over a MONTH where a teen girl has been begging the Court for relief.  Not because she was yelled at…because she was being tormented & cut off from the help she needed, to the point where she became desperate and even suicidal.

It was outrageous and worth revealing to the public because most of us believe that when children are in danger that the court would respond quickly and efficiently to help save a life.  Too often that just isn’t the case.  This is one of the reasons for sharing stories from across the country, and asking our leadership to work on changes that will better protect kids in these situations.

Is it really necessary to make a child wait like this after so many outcries for relief?

@MyAdvocateCentr reports that her affidavits made jaws drop and eyes become shiny with tears.  Not one affidavit…several.  These were filed in Forsyth County to ask Judge Bagley to please pay attention, to please give her the freedom to say “Stop.”

Please stop here and watch this video.

Back to Georgia:
The father decided to retaliate against the school counselor who has worked to give the teen relief from oppression and duress – so the father tried to have him fired.  Is this community going to stand behind a courageous girl & the school counselor?

A bold attorney actually found visible evidence – the morning of the first part of this hearing – of the very comfortable relationship between the Judge and the father’s attorney.  Seasoned professionals approached & thanked her for speaking out & revealing the truth.  Of course, the Judge saw no reason to recuse…so maybe he believes he can rule properly on this evidence?

Update:  Judge Bagley did, in fact, see reason to grant this girl’s request and restored balance to her life with both parents.  He also prevented the father from sending her away to another “camp” that the father insisted she should attend since she was indicating she wanted more time with her mother.

Why send a child away, getting LESS time with her, just to keep her from having time with her mother?  Whether it is this camp he mentioned or the previous one he used, why do that at all?

The father’s attorney actually put in writing that she not only recommends the Rachel House in Texas on cases like this one, but she also said this judge would help support another judge sending children there.

Do you know what the #RachelHouse (aka #RachelFoundation) does to children?  Do you realize the purpose behind sending children out of state and isolating them?

Please join in, and do report cases here where a #Judge has worked with the #RachelHouse to tell children that abuse is OK.

#NeedsofChildren #GAFamilyCourt #DomesticViolence #StopChildAbuse

 

Please see our Facebook post about The Hostage Child book for more detail on purchasing this book, or learning the reality for many children who make outcries to the Family Courts in Georgia.  

Naming Names – Help for Parents Caught in Conflict

You’ve now seen through press coverage of specific stories that certain judges are being influenced – in an inappropriate way – by certain attorneys and custody experts.  Many of you are asking, “So who are the others doing this?”

Obviously, as your comments reflect, there are more than a few people engaged in misconduct and in covering it up, or these actions would not be so blatant, and so profitable.

EXTRA NAUGHTY LIST 2013

This “hidden influence” is leading not only to financial and emotional damage to good parents, but also leading to physical and emotional damages to children.

The impact on our community is tremendous – and virtually no one is immune to what is going on.

But we should all be putting our foot down collectively over the damages to our childrenWe are seeing children develop severe, long term medical/emotional problems that would not be occurring otherwise.

This trauma is leading to drug problems, truancy, jail time and even suicide.

That alone is worth naming names publicly of those contributing to or benefitting from the court-related misconduct, and working toward transparency and accountability.  (Yes, we are inviting discussion with these professionals, asking for help in restoring health, peace & support for these families and children.  It is the ONLY right option, and it’s not too late to shift gears and help rather than harm.)

Please feel free to submit via PRIVATE email here on this website or via PRIVATE message on Facebook the names of professionals who have conducted themselves in similar fashion. 

The best means of sharing information is to Contact Us HERE.

We don’t need a lot of detail for now, just enough to know that a bad/harmful outcome was obtained because professionals ignored or suppressed evidence that, if the laws and ethics rules were being followed, would have been used to provide protections and support.  Should you want to discuss your case or situation further, let us know and we will provide you with our Intake Form.

Any and all legal advice must come from an attorney licensed in the State of Georgia, so please note that submitting information – while we treat with all possible confidentiality and view submissions as sensitive – is not considered “attorney-client privileged.”

We are not attorneys but do have legal, financial & psychological advisors on stand-by and will help inform you so that you know you are in the right hands going forward.  (If you have peace of mind about those supporting you, you’ll make better decisions..meaning your children will be better cared for.)

Information can be shared with our Resource Team and advisors by telephone or in person if digital/email communications are not appropriate for your situation.  You can also submit evidence directly to contacts with press or law enforcement, and we can arrange to help you with that if appropriate;  just get the information where it can be followed through on.

At a minimum, and for starters, if you have a case where you can show what appears to be professional misconduct, you should immediately call the State Bar and request a grievance form.  We’ve been told, “If people are being harmed, then WHY are they not filing grievances with us?”

So, please do ask for those forms, fill them out, send them in on a timely basis.  (If you need assistance, we have good malpractice attorneys available to consult with you on this process.  Note that this is hourly fee-based work, but worth it if you can afford to pay it.)

The more information that comes to light about misconduct and cases being mishandled, the better our community can be served.

*Our job is NOT to act as law enforcement or reporters, but our mission includes informing and empowering those entities responsible for reporting and protecting.

Professionals: if you are committed to upholding laws, ethics rules, fiduciary duty and the needs of your clients – and especially their children’s needs – please let us know if you would like to help with these cases coming in.

One part of our mission is to help the State Bar fully realize the nature of the misconduct and the extent of the damages, and to influence this conduct to cease.

Give parents and children a chance to recover, so that they can thrive as they would be doing but for the interference, misconduct and hidden influence as described in the press coverage.

Going forward, we are working hard to help families transition through and out of conflict faster, to support children in receiving the best that both parents have to offer, and to allow the family’s resources to be preserved for the benefit of children and parents.

Children deserve to be healthy and supported, in the care of loving and available parents, and they deserve to see their parents thriving in this role.  Anything else is not natural, and does interfere with the child’s development and future.

Sometimes it’s OK to be seen as controversial, or even “radical” as certain guilty parties like to say… But here goes: Shame on you if you disagree with this, or if you stand in the way.

If you are a parent who has hired and used professionals engaged in these tactics… aimed at harming the other parent, please know that there is a way to correct your situation without making things worse.

We are especially asking you to reconsider this situation.  You’ve probably already done enough harm to the other parent to feel that sick sense of satisfaction…not that it’s ever enough when your temper is raging or when you are feeling wounded.

Just know this: There is a way to meet in the middle, better serve your children, and allow your family to move forward with less conflict, expense and stress.  For sure, having a conversation about options will not do you any harm. (We won’t tell if YOU won’t!)

Thank you for your trust and your support.

Georgia Ethics as Priority

One of our top legislative priorities for this current session is ethics reform.  That’s great news.  

Why?   Because ethics problems, meaning the lack of ethics and how well they are hidden or glossed over, are hurting pretty much every facet of our lives, from our children to our economy.   Most business and government leaders are focused on a few top priorities, so we are asking that the view be expanded a bit.   We believe our intelligent, talented, creative and compassionate leaders will figure out a new way to approach and resolve this matter.

Why is My Advocate Center engaged in supporting and provoking ethics reform debate?

Consider that ethics problems affect our ability to create or replace jobs, encourage housing loss, and negatively limit talent and creativity in how our law enforcement and schools are run.   We expect great results, but we aren’t necessarily getting them, at least not compared to the money being invested and spent.

How is this impacting the Needs of Children?

The examples we follow at the top of the food chain in various sectors seem to be sending a poor message – the actual message, not the packaged message.

If numbers, efficiency, cost-effectiveness mean something to you around business development, then be a part of the conversation around what we have been missing in terms of how poor ethics are hitting us and draining our resources.   It has much to do with honesty and loyalty to our state and its citizens.   And it’s going to take more than lip service, glossy ads and well-run campaigns to get through on this.

(Even children, thanks to movies like WALL-E, can see what many of us are missing.  If you haven’t seen this, even with no children present, it might surprise you with some new insight and empathy.)

We have researched and produced case studies to help this sink in for government, business and community leaders:  because drained resources and inefficiency and problems running amok are getting in the way of serving and uplifting children.

Look at it from this angle:  a lack of integrity or ethics in leadership or professional conduct skews how families, parents, youth and individuals are treated in our Court system.   Individuals are so significantly harmed by poor ethics and a lack of Fiduciary Duty (by professionals) that it is taking a hit on our workforce, small business investment, local spending, and greatly increasing the burden on our healthcare system and schools.

If you’d like to understand how a company, say of 3,000 employees, is affected from a quality and cost standpoint, we can show you.  Our case studies can reveal not only the plight of children, families and individuals, but what this means to those investing in our local workforce and economy.

What might happen if we demanded better integrity and performance?   Isn’t that what we plan for and demand in our companies and in our homes?   How much more in benefits – profit, peace and enjoyment – could we experience here in this state by getting the ethics discussion on the right track?

By all means, let’s grab this ethics topic not only with both hands and with our microphones and pens, but by digging in our heels and holding on tight.   This will not be an easy resolution to reach in a meaningful way.  There is just too much money at stake for a few to let go of the status quo.   Only now it is time to ask the right questions and look at the issues in new ways, and to ask Oz to come out from behind the curtain.

Thank you in advance for choosing to be a Part of the Solution.

Now, let’s get to work…

For more detail, please refer to the Atlanta Business Chronicle’s January 14th edition, and attend the Georgia Chamber of Commerce’s Eggs and Issues breakfast at the World Congress this Wednesday morning at 7am, January 16th, 2013.

Wake Up Georgia: Solutions to Preventing Tragedy

According to The Violence Policy Center, Georgia ranks 10th in nation for domestic violence related homicides.

The Kristofak murder in Marietta is a much needed wake-up call.

M-A-C is asking all professionals involved in high-conflict cases to handle each aspect of these cases with the utmost care and to intervene early with the proper counseling on BOTH sides of the equation.

Protocols & the RIGHT kind of help for mental health instability, violence and conflict management do exist here — they just aren’t always being followed or used effectively.   It is past time for all of us to ask questions and follow through, taking it more seriously than before, because the Needs of Children dictate that we do this.

What can be done to dial back the conflict and discourage & prevent more violence?

Can we make better use of the laws, protocols & intervention programs that we have in place?   How strongly are we holding people accountable, and what about inserting more transparency onto high-conflict cases?  (Please note that Men / Fathers are also victims in a number of these cases.  False allegations of abuse DO impede solutions, wasting time and resources, which are needed for better/faster resolutions.  All of this negatively impacts children, parents’ ability to work together, drains family resources and harms our communities.   Just Don’t do it…)

Can we make better use of our healthcare system and law enforcement professionals?  Of course, the answer is a resounding YES on all of the above, but how?  Where do we start?  With whom do we start?

Prior to this disaster unfolding, we created the M-A-C Counsel for Change to address these issues and help interrupt the patterns that lead to this kind of loss and tragedy.   We did this based on actual case studies done on past and present/pending cases.   Yes, there are other pending cases needing intervention, so we are working with several alliances to change these outcomes so that the Needs of Children and good parents are better served.

To join in this thought leadership discussion, if you are a professional engaged in these matters or in a position to contribute to Solutions and Change, please email CFC@MyAdvocateCenter.com.

Parents & anyone needing guidance:  If you are not sure where to turn for intervention with anger, violence, or are caught in a situation involving mental health disorders or addiction (any dysfunction affecting the well-being of your children and peace in your home) send us a message & we will help guide. Resources@MyAdvocateCenter.com

Please engage with us on Facebook, Twitter & LinkedIn to contribute to solutions and follow our development on these case studies and on improvements being made.

Here are a few of the links to the most recent – and preventable – loss experienced by children in the Atlanta, Georgia area:

AJC, by Bill Torpy:  http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/slain-woman-predicted-her-own-death/nTgj4/

11Alive News, by Rebecca Lindstrom: http://www.11alive.com/News/Crime/269855/445/Domestic-Violence-advocates-call-Marietta-murder-a-wakeup-call

East Cobb Patch, by Wendy Parker: http://eastcobb.patch.com/articles/donna-kristofak-feared-for-her-life

Perryville News, Obituary of Donna Kristofak: http://www.perryvillenews.com/archive/article_ba8feb62-53a8-11e2-991d-001a4bcf6878.html

If you are aware of or producing another piece on this story, please email Press@MyAdvocateCenter.com.

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The Kristofak boys have now lost both of their parents, but thankfully have the care and protection of other family members.   They deserve all the help we can give them, so please send contributions to:

Harrison & Zac Scholarship Fund, P.O. Box 70091, Marietta, GA 30007-0091.

Study highlights Issues that overlap Child Custody & Family Violence

An author we follow participated in this study – on a topic that does not cross your mind unless you have experienced a loss in Family Court.   The study is long but worth reading if you are concerned about how the legal process often does more harm than good where there are issues overlapping between family violence and child custody.

We are working on responses to this study, as well as additional research and case studies, and including other reports such as the study done by the CDC that reveals how far reaching these issues are in our community – not somewhere far away, but right here.  These issues are affecting your neighbors, the people in line with you at the grocery store… regardless of what part of town you live in, and possibly even in your own family.   It is uncomfortable for most of us to face, but we must if anything is going to improve for our children.  It is not some disease that we can avoid by staying close to home.

The issue is that in many cases where one party to a divorce is more vulnerable – physically, emotionally or financially – than the other party, and they are focused more on protecting themselves and their children than on understanding the dynamics of the Court system and the interactions between the “handlers” of their case, they are ripe to experience further damage.

This vulnerable party is destabilized by the other party’s ability to use influence and money – and to use their children as pawns or as a tool for control and punishment – so they fall into the trap of relying strictly on what they are told by the Legal Professionals.  Unfortunately, not all professionals who govern these cases – such as the attorneys, the Judge and the custody experts – are created equal when it comes to devotion, integrity, talent or intelligence.   It pays to do your research and not rely on advertising or appearances.

Read more here about this U.S. based study revealing facts from cases involving both family violence and child custody disputes, and then check back for more of our posts about how this issue affects the health and development of children in our society.

Here is the location of the pdf for this study:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1448371/pdf/0940951.pdf

To learn more about how this subject relates to a situation you or someone you know may be facing, please contact us immediately.