discrimination

Have you heard?

Good fathers are sharing experiences of finding out the hard way that they don’t stand a chance of getting a balanced/fair custody schedule or equal say, unless they play dirty, and spend a fortune if they have it to spend. Even then…it is very hard to prevail through mystery & uncertainty. Hundreds of examples of cases resolved in an unfair & unbalanced way exist right here in GA, so chances are you’ve heard of a few or experienced this yourself?

Yes, men do believe they are being discriminated against when it comes to the legal process and custody issues. More & more are reaching out to us, asking for answers, even though we don’t promote “Father’s Rights” specifically. We vet each case regardless of whether the mother is being targeted or the father, and work toward restoring balance for the person who is being destabilized by foul play and illegal tactics.

Why are fathers calling M-A-C? Because we are not here to advocate for one type of person over another, but to be the Voice of Reason. We help to take out the emotion and injury, and replace faulty reactions or strategies with what makes sense. It is easier for men to avoid loss in business than here in the family court process, because business practices are more transparent, more accountable, and often follow logic. What is happening with certain family court professionals goes against all logic – – and, yes, even againt the law, the facts and evidence of the case, and against the needs of children.

We look at the reality and truth for the children involved – what type of parent are you and how do you work with the other parent to do what your kids need.

Are you managing to provide the best of both parents to your children? Do you support the other parent as much as you should? Do you support as if your children were able to tell you what they need and deserve from you both? Do you conduct yourself as if your children are watching?

Guess what: they ARE watching. Even if they are very young. They are absorbing what is happening, and this sets them up to fail both in their youth and later in life. So take it seriously, and work on yourself first.

Appearances DO matter, but not the way we are often taught to think in this process; what matters is what our children are seeing in us, as well as how our cases are managed related to their care and emotional well-being. Examples to clarify this point are available. This is simply about child-centered common sense as it relates to achieving your desired outcome.

Mothers vs. Fathers: Bad behavior and abuse happen on both sides of the aisle. The wedding aisle, not just the political aisle.

We are here to help all types of parents look in the mirror and consider how to be better – before divorce (avoiding it if possible because it IS bad for children, and for you), during divorce and after – because that is better for children. It really is very simple.

So, regarding “Fathers’ Rights,” are you ready? They should be the same as a mother’s rights. Your children deserve the best of both – if you are capable of cooperating in that effort, then that is what should happen. Please look for more specifics in later posts or email us for faster answers.

My Advocate Center exists because we’ve seen the impact on children and know that during this process, around divorce and custody conflicts, is where some of the worst damage is done to children. It has to change, and if you consider yourself a good parent, or project as a professional that you are here to serve children/families and claim you have talent and are successful, then use that to improve outcomes for children, rather than for your own bottom line. The bottom line SHOULD be how children fare in this – what are they left with when the arguing is done, and how will they manage through the aftermath and into adulthood.

As you learn about My Advocate Center please do not focus on our posts about female victims of family violence and assume that we are here because we only care about supporting women, or that our main focus is on violence although that is a driving force & controlling influence in many cases. We have heard and seen as many examples of poor case management and outcomes for fathers as we have for mothers. Poor judgment by professionals or judges is not aimed at one gender or the other. But it always hurts children, so that is what drives our work and research. We will address family violence, abuse, foul play and related topics in another post.

For now we ask that you consider that much of the conflict does not have to do with discrimination against male or female parents, and that our mission is focused on how children are impacted when the rights of a good parent and caregiver are taken away or diminished. Much of our work & research involves balancing results for fathers, especially for fathers who are acting as the primary caregiver in their family unit. You might not be the “stay at home dad,” but you can still be the one emotionally connected to your children and ensuring their overall well-being.

If you are not in control of your situation around child custody, and believe that the lack of fairness is hurting your kids…if you want to learn the real reason why and then do something about it, let us know. Ideally you are reading this before it’s too late and can work with us to PREVENT this from happening. However, most parents do not question until after damage has been done and they realize that improving the situation is next to impossible. We are here because we believe in “possible” and you are reading because you do as well.

Join us knowing that we exist to help you learn and benefit from our experience, insight & resources.

Your children are asking this of you, even if they are silent.

Mothers, even good mothers, do sometimes lose their children in the legal process involving custody matters.

Fathers claim the Courts are biased in favor of mothers.

Both sides fight back, and not always fairly or with an eye on their children.

Minorities want Favored Minority Status because it is the only way in their minds to protect against discrimination. Domestic Violence victims hear that the Court doesn’t care about family violence, or are afraid they won’t be seen as a “good enough victim” to get protection or support from the Court professionals.

Groups who do not belong to or follow the Mainstream want their rights upheld, and justly so. Some are afraid to be seen and then misjudged for not fitting a mold we believe the Court wants upheld.

The Court is not designed to protect one gender over another, or one ethnic, religious or societal group over another. But somehow most of us fall into the trap of believing this is true, so that way it makes more sense if we don’t prevail. If we can make sense of it, then we know what we are up against, correct?

What actually prevents us from succeeding is information and preparedness. Who is responsible for helping us prepare? WE are. We must identify resources, make the right choices for our unique situation and location and political environment, and then use those resources wisely.

It is just not as simple as “I am a Woman, so therefore I must hire this strong male, or that female bulldog of an attorney.” That is a rumor. An uninformed one at that. Just like the one that states, “If she lost her children, then there must be something wrong with her.” Or the misperception that, “He only sees his children 30% of the time, so therefore the mother prevailed,” or “he is just a so-so dad.” Write down your beliefs and the rumors you are allowing to guide your decisions. Don’t just Gut-Check them; FACT check them.

The brief point to our initial blog post here is this: things are not always as they seem, and they are not always as they should be. So get your head in the game, clear your thoughts, and learn. If you are not sure where to start, just send us an email. That part is simple.

A Father’s Rights

The Court Discriminates, but Not Like You Think