Parental Alienation

Yellow Ribbon for Kids

May 27, 2014 by Chief Navigator

This campaign is being designed to bring kids home to the parents they need and love.

The only reason these parents are not able to care for their own children is that certain court professionals chose to put their profits over protection, over the needs of the children in divorce and child custody disputes.

No, this is not the case in every situation, but an astounding number of cases in Georgia and around the country are being exposed for professional misconduct – – that led to children losing good parents.

The Yellow Ribbon is the symbol and theme that we know well…for it says to us to expect a welcome home, and especially a welcome home from war.

This IS the war on our home turf that many parents are fighting, including those who serve and have sacrificed to support our military. While they fought for our rights, many of theirs have been denied.

Missing parents? Yes, moms and dads, including many in our military, our veterans, have been told they aren’t good enough… #YellowRibbon time?

Help restore these parents and children to each other.

#Stand4Heroes

#YellowRibbon4Kids

#MyAdvocateCenter

Filed Under: Alienation of Parents & Children, Kids Need Their Parents, Military Parents, Missing Parents, On Behalf of Children, Parents Rights, Rally for Kids, Yellow Ribbon 4 Kids Tagged With: 4th of July, AFCC, Duty, Family Law, Family Law Institute, Fathers, Freedom, Georgia Military, Honor, Military Parents, Mothers, Needs of Children, Parental Alienation, Thank You for Your Service, Yellow Ribbon, Yellow Ribbon for kids

Parental Alienation Syndrome: Real vs Misguided Use

January 26, 2014 by Chief Navigator

Parental Alienation is something very real to many mothers and fathers who have been wrongfully cut off from their children. We say “wrongfully” because the facts and evidence of the case did not support that loss.

The word “syndrome” was added for another purpose, however. And this is where it gets difficult for many.

In family court when there is REAL abuse happening, and the perpetrator has the ability to influence the judge with special connections and money, they may refer to this “syndrome” or some other term (again, something that makes no sense if you look at the evidence) to justify punishing a good parent, and taking away a child.

This video helps explain some of what we are seeing in custody disputes where the evidence of abuse has been substantiated. This includes the Fulton county case we have been following and reporting on.

Filed Under: Alienation of Parents & Children, Atlanta News, Family Court Review, Parents Rights, Professional Spotlight Tagged With: Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, PAS

Atlanta News: CBS Asks Why the Need for Family Court Reform

January 14, 2014 by Chief Navigator

You may have learned over this past year that just because police and DFCS substantiate claims of child abuse, that does not mean the judge and custody experts will use this evidence to protect a child.

It does not even mean that the child’s THERAPIST will take the evidence seriously in order to protect the child…how is that even possible? This therapist was chosen by the mother, but only because she had a credible background and substantial role in advocacy for children. However, when money becomes an issue…it appears evidence and the medical needs of a child do not carry much weight.

This therapist would not listen to police, the child, other real doctors and is not trained to treat dissociative disorder. This disorder can manifest for victims of severe and prolonged abuse.

This medical disorder and the signs of trauma are glaring in a number of cases in Georgia that are being handled much like this one. Should our healthcare community and educators be made aware, so they can get involved to help stop this? We think so.

Dr Danielle Levy decided that overwhelming evidence of abuse & trauma should be ignored. $$$

My Advocate Center has been researching cases across counties and collecting data, and unfortunately the pattern is the same. If certain attorneys and select custody experts get together, they can put profit over protection.

By hosting the world premiere of the Divorce Corp. film narrated by Dr. Drew, Atlanta was able to bring together parents and professionals to expose the truth and discuss reform.

Continue reading and watching our news coverage as there is much more to report that will help drive change, should you choose to understand and then act on it.

This is the second in a series of interviews on this case, but the start of a national movement with My Advocate Center to help fathers understand what mothers like this one are going through. We are all on the same team around protecting children who are being harmed by unethical court practices, foul play, and the “Pay to Play” system.

Guilty parties will pay large amounts of money to have evidence suppressed, and to retain access to their victims. It is a “Pay to Play” system that allows violent or abusive parties to use children as pawns and to use the process to hide crimes and punish parents seeking protection from the court.

This “Pay to Play” concept also works in reverse, where certain attorneys counsel clients to lie to police – wasting our law enforcement resources – and use false allegations to gain advantage or punish the other party. Either way, children are harmed, as is our State. The case revealed in our local coverage fits the Pay to Play concept, and foul play is involved, but it is not a false allegations case as the father’s attorney is asserting. Look at the facts of the case, the record, and what the professionals were paid to keep the available evidence and testimony – including from police – OFF the record.

There is more to follow, including the tactics of working to deny a litigant the opportunity and right to appeal.

Now is the time to get involved, and save these children and the good parents counting on our Courts and laws for protection.

Please follow updates about Family Court Reform and ask your legislators to help see this through.

Twitter: Follow @MyAdvocateCentr using #FamilyCourtReform #ImproveFamilyLaw #NeedsofChildren #MyAdvocateCenter — and help stop these #shenanigans.

Filed Under: Alienation of Parents & Children, Atlanta News, Case Studies & Examples, Child Custody, Evolving Solutions: Family Law, Family Court Reform, Family Court Review, Family Violence, Kids Need Their Parents, Legal & Medical Malpractice, On Behalf of Children, Preventing Tragedy & Loss, Professional Misconduct, Rally for Kids, Where Are My Parents? Tagged With: Atlanta, Atlanta News, Business of Divorce, Danielle Levy Therapist, Divorce Corp, Family Court Reform, Fraud, Fulton County Superior Court, Georgia, Georgia Reform, Howard Drutman, Improve Family Law, Jeff Bogart, Jim Holmes, My Advocate Center, Parental Alienation, Protect Children, Stop Child Abuse, Suppression of Evidence, Susan Hurst

Coping with Parental Alienation of Your Children

November 3, 2012 by Chief Navigator Leave a Comment

If you have felt the effects of this or seen it in your children’s faces, body language, behavior or heard things from them that seemed like they were trying to push you away, you have experienced the impact of “alienation” tactics.

This summary is focused strictly on coping skills and not on description or legalities. It is something to try to prevent and to take seriously, but for now let’s talk about how you can manage better in a way that helps you, your children and your relationship with them.

Not everyone realizes they are doing things in a way to cause alienation, while others’ efforts are intentional. But whatever the motivation or awareness level is, the result is still the same. It drives a wedge between children and parents – when the children really need for both parents to be calm, positive and connected – and increases the conflict between parents while reducing the chances for cooperation and teamwork. This phenomenon takes away from children who need to be receiving emotionally and physically all they can get from each parent. So, yes, it is a big deal and the effects are deeper and longer lasting than you might imagine.

If you are the parent having to defend against these tactics by the other parent, it means unfortunately you have a little extra work to do. Understand the issue and how it works. Be prepared, and work on controlling and diffusing your own emotions. Don’t counter-attack, but rather mediate and diffuse the situation. Surrounding yourself with positive information, people and experiences will help turn this around. There are excellent professionals – both psychological and legal – we can refer you to for help, but first do some reading, journaling of the issues and look yourself in the mirror to see your strengths; see what you are capable of before resorting to spending money trying to correct this. You might find that you have more power and influence than you’ve been led to believe.

What your children see and hear from you will have a chance to offset and change what is happening, if you stay resolved, calm and upbeat about it. Hopefully you took some acting classes earlier in life…so this is where any performing or sales ability will help you!

Here are some other things you need to have and work on:

A basic understanding of what Parental Alienation is and is not; do not try to be an expert or focus more than a few minutes on this. Once you get it, let that part go.
A mindset of playing offense rather than defense; put yourself in control rather than in victim mode. Note that “being on offense” is quite different from being “offensive.” Offending the other parent is not helpful!
A mature mind and heart. Your reactive and retaliatory nature needs to stay in the journal you keep where you vent your frustrations, complaints, sadness, bitterness or even fear. Reveal the best of your mind and heart to your children, and…yes, even to the other parent causing the alienation.
A great deal of patience, and an outlet for handling the stress when patience fails you; do not keep it bottled in, so use counseling, exercise, good books and family support as needed. Your friends will not understand, so keep from sharing what is happening as much as possible – think offensive line. Eye on the goal line, rather than on a potential loss.
A sense of humor; if you are going to sell it to your kids and community that you are not a victim to feel sorry for (no one wants to hang with victims) then find the humor and the bright side. This attracts your children to a different way of thinking and sets an amazing example.
An exciting and productive something going on in your life, besides what you do with and for your kids.
Forget Plan A, and have enough back up plans that one or two disappointments – like not being able to host your child’s birthday party – do not cause major setbacks. Move on quickly to the next “best” option for being involved and having the joy of your child’s pleasure and gratitude.
A healthy ego. Sometimes not being the center of attention allows you to learn more and be a better coach and example for your child than if all the focus is on you. When it is obvious that one parent is trying to control or get credit for something, kids notice and they appreciate that your ego is balanced, and that you are okay just being a part of something that is good for them.
A sense of timing. Kids have a way of getting what they need from you WHEN they need it. So keep planting seeds that you are available and willing, but that they can get what they need when they are ready.
A sensitivity for things you might not see or hear; kids are often working pretty hard to not let on what they are experiencing and how it is affecting them. They do not want to burden anyone or draw attention to something negative, and this takes a lot of their energy. This touches on why alienation tactics relate to abuse and neglect – it causes them stress and affects their joy, focus and sleep. Your main job is to not add to this while trying to protect your relationship with them, and it is easier said than done.
A decision to meet in the middle, rather than to have a “winner” or a “loser” – this is not about the battle which is what the person doing the alienating wants you to think. This is about the effects on your children and the example you want to set for them around having good boundaries and the skills they need to resolve conflict in their lifetime. Change what you can change, enjoy what you can enjoy – that is your choice and it IS within your intelligent and ability to do.
A list of things you can do to take the high road and set a more positive example, like saving a seat for the other parent if you arrive early to an event where your child is performing or competing. Waiting with an open and encouraging stance before leaving with your child after an event so that they have extra time to visit with and debrief with their other parent. Turning toward the other parent & looking at them when speaking, as if you expect something positive to happen. When you order something, like school pictures, order extra and have your child take the extras to the other parent. Plant seeds. And ask for what you need and want with a smile and positive expectations.

These are things that will help, even if they aren’t easy to keep in mind and act on consistently, but the more you develop and call on your strengths, the more wisdom and peace you insert into this environment, the better chance you have of turning it around.

You’ll be amazed at how your children will respond over time.

Filed Under: Alienation of Parents & Children Tagged With: For Parents, Knowledge is Power, Mother vs Father, Parental Alienation, Power Struggle, What Matters?