On the Home Front…

Is your home secure during your divorce or after divorce?

Having a home may be considered more of a luxury than ever before, now with the loss of income during the coronavirus pandemic being added to the drain on families caused by litigation expenses.

Are you or someone you know at risk of losing a home because of court expenses such as high attorney’s fees and bankruptcy? If you are post-divorce, are you afraid you will not be able to afford to keep your home after spending so much during the case, especially if child custody was disputed?

Our hope is that with Georgia courts being temporarily closed for health preservation, that more people will stop, learn and listen so that they can avoid further loss and injury related to child custody and divorce litigation. This applies especially to parents who are usually so busy with their child’s school and sports activities to learn what they might be missing in terms of resolving conflict and protecting a child in need of attention.

A few tips:

  1. Save all of your lawyer’s emails as PDF’s and put in a folder. If you can make searchable PDF’s, that is even better. If there are communications between your lawyer and other professionals involved in your case that you have not been copied on, meaning the entire email exchange was not forwarded to you, this is another issue to raise, and one for which you may need to obtain help.
  2. Create a sub-folder for emails, letters, pleadings related to financial matters, including costs of litigation and strategy pertaining to homes and other property. Pay attention, especially, to any communication that hints at a trade-off around child custody and property.
  3. Write out questions about any wording or issue you are not absolutely certain about as to meaning and the effect on your family.
  4. Print out all billing statements from your lawyer and other other professionals involved in the litigation; compare records for duplicates or any other sign of over-billing. Print your contract with professionals and read it carefully, and compare what you agreed to with what you have been billed for – this is a learning process.
  5. If your lawyer has not provided you with detailed billing statements and in a timely manner, this may be an issue you want to raise with the State Bar or a local Bar Association in your area.
  6. Look for and ask about communications specific to your property and how awards around marital division, homes, accounts/debt, and attorney’s fees and other expenses are being handled.

Sometimes, it is what you do not see or do not know (yet) that you need to look for, which may mean asking your lawyer to ensure that you have an unedited copy of every single email/text and document related to your interests and case. With some lawyers, it is not until a specific request is made, for example to have a copy of your entire legal file made, that you do not realize what else may be going on, or not going on, that you should know about. While we do not provide legal advice, we do know which lawyers will give you straight answers and help you fill in missing pieces of the picture.

Examples of Issues to Watch Out for:

  • Do you have equity in your home? Involved in marital dispute over division of equity? Learn more from real estate agents and financial advisors so that all of your understanding is not reliant on your domestic lawyer’s perspective.
  • Are you at risk for having to file for bankruptcy? Make sure to consult with a bankruptcy lawyer separate and apart from your domestic lawyer, and ideally not with one referred by your domestic lawyer.
  • Is your partner/spouse or former spouse/partner at risk of filing for bankruptcy – or in bankruptcy? If yes, then you may want to consult with a bankruptcy lawyer yourself, and also separate and apart from your domestic lawyer.

Could this be you or someone you know? Is your home at risk?

Conflicts have been seen with domestic lawyers where property division and fees are concerned, such as:

  1. In Cobb County: after three years of convoluted litigation, attorneys discussed with the judge how the court expenses would be covered. It turned out that from the judge’s perspective, there really was no need for all the legal battles that were waged – there was no dispute and no decisions for the judge to make when they appeared in court for a “hearing,” so the judge looked at the lawyers, and both sides (lawyer for the mother and the opposing counsel for the father) flushed red. Before that moment the only focus was on which parent had more equity in their pre-marital home as the attorneys wanted the judge to issue an order about who was paying what attorney’s fees (and guardian ad litem fees). What came out is that the case was not about the children, but about how long the case could be dragged out to increase the fees; clearly the lawyers knew there was equity in the homes to take – and they did. Both the mother and the father appeared to not realize what was going on and neither knew how to protect themselves, or how to avoid losing equity or property.

2. Recently in Gwinnett County: a divorcing couple with children went through marital division of assets and the fees incurred were extraordinarily high, well over $50,000, which is not unusual.

In order to get a judgment in his client’s favor on financial support and fees, the mother’s lawyer decided to falsify the father’s income in pleadings to be higher than reality, an act that set the father on course for bankruptcy; this is also not uncommon. Maybe the mother was so busy managing the children that she did not realize her fees were being unnecessarily driven up by a lawyer misrepresenting numbers to the court, and did not realize this would ultimately cost her more than it helped her and their children.

The mother likely did not learn on her own what using inflated numbers could mean for her, and therein lies the risk. She probably trusted her lawyer to only serve her interests and not put the home in jeopardy.

When her lawyer pursued the father to collect the attorney’s fees of over $50,000 and the bankruptcy court became involved, it was revealed that the lawyer did not protect his client and the marital home could be forced into a sale and used to cover the fees driven up by the lawyer; of course, the mother may have no way of knowing she could lose the house. If she believes that her lawyer’s collection efforts are “normal” and not putting her at risk, she may be caught off guard. In this case, the lawyer failed to have the father removed as owner of the property, so as it is a part of the estate, it can be used to cover debts. This situation and others like it are why our founder, Deborah Beacham, observes lawyers in courtrooms, studies transcripts, billing records and orders, and encourages parents to learn more in advance and to try to resolve as much outside of the courtroom as possible. Situations like this one are also why she engages legal malpractice lawyers in discussions – education and preparation are key to preventing the kind of shock and loss going on in this example.

3. In another metro Atlanta divorce, the mother’s lawyer helped her stage and provoke a stressful situation they called “domestic violence,” so that the father would have to leave his pre-marital home; the litigation was dragged out for years, with multiple professionals involved to run up fees & turn what could have been a straightforward resolution into a high conflict mess.

Not only did positive co-parenting go out the window, putting much greater stress and shame on the child, but because of the way the father was set up, falsely accused and kept from his home office and equipment, his business failed; the total loss that followed resulted in his business partner giving up hope and taking his life. From where we sit, studying hundreds of similar situations all around Georgia and in other states, this loss of life – and the loss of a small business and loss of the father’s home due to attorney’s fees – was avoidable.

What could have been saved if this family learned to get the right kind of help before entering into the legal process? Everything.

Unfortunately, the above examples barely scratch the surface in explaining what families and children are experiencing. In a better, safer world, parents will be more informed and prepared to avoid such outcomes.

Solutions are available to protect children, homes and reputations.
~ Deborah Beacham

Let’s start here. By raising awareness and building legal protection funds, we can guide parents to safety, and stop the current trend of destabilizing families and children.

We can save homes, jobs and health, and most importantly, the parent-child bonds that children need to thrive.

Early Intervention and Financial Advisors

The right solution is often a simple one.

If you believe that solving financial problems – or avoiding them – has to be a complicated and mysterious endeavor you could miss the best answer, which may mean the right advisor for your situation and life or business goals.

I believe that finding the right financial advisor early in life, early in a marriage, before starting a business, and early in the process of resolving conflict between family members is priceless.

Any time you are emotionally charged, under pressure to make big decisions, facing uncertainty or a major disappointment, you are served well to already have trust established with a solid, loyal and talented financial advisor.

Do I have recommendations? Of course I do!

My perspective comes, in part, from the study of hundreds of cases or situations presented to me through this website, and from experience in financial services where I worked directly with advisors and money managers across the United States.  Wisdom also comes from learning firsthand that not all financial advisors will give you all of the information or insight you need to make smart decisions.

During research of actual cases, I’ve noted how some financial experts make analyzing and planning more convoluted and expensive than the situation calls for, but emotionally charged parties aren’t in a position to recognize that value is lacking, or that key information is even being withheld. By the time someone realizes that they weren’t served well by the expert they were guided to use, it’s too late; the damage is done. Yes, I can show you what that looks like on paper and how it translates into bigger trouble in life. While I can help illustrate problems you want to avoid, the financial professionals I know and trust are the best at showing you what your best options are and then empowering you to act on them.

Early intervention is the way to go.

Make time before a crisis arises to interview and get to know advisors, and learn what value-added looks and feels like when working with a financial advisor. If you feel uncertain about a professional relationship and need to consult with someone else, let me know.

Coming soon: the next series of eye-opening interviews is under development, so please get in touch if you have suggestions for topics or would like to contribute as an expert or to simply tell a story that can help others reach better financial outcomes.

Above all, preserve your time and financial resources for the benefit of your family.

Our Wish is for Children to Be Cared for by Safe, Loving Parents

These simple wishes this holiday season remain our top priority:

family, charity, healthcare, health. christmas, x-mas and happy

Return children who have been removed from parents they love and need. Prevent children from being sent out of state and isolated for the purpose of silencing them.

Restore relationships between children and parents when they are separated for all the wrong reasons, and even cut off from all communication.

Protect children who are being abused, including emotionally abused when safe, loving parents are threatened with the loss of their children.

Protect the rights of parents asking court professionals to ensure they stay in the lives of their children. When the opportunity presents, help them recover from trauma and loss associated with these avoidable problems.

Show some courage and help grant them their wishes!

 

Financial Guidance During Divorce

Financial Guidance During Divorce Can Make All the Difference

While that statement seems obvious, the issue is where you obtain your advice and knowing whether your counsel actually has your best interests in mind, or not.

Financial counselors, like attorneys and child custody experts, are not all equal and a handful will actually stand by or participate in helping to misguide you during a very emotional and turbulent family conflict.

One trust source of information is nationally recognized author, speaker and advisor Jeff Landers.

We invite you to read his work, and let us know if you need help selecting a local expert to review your situation and to assist legal counsel during a divorce or other legal or financial matter.

Financial Uncertainty & Resentment Towards a Partner’s Financial Status is a Large Factor Contributing to the Divorce Rate

If there is a way to get the right counsel at the onset of conflict and disagreement, please do not hold back in trying to resolve the issues before hiring lawyers and filing for divorce.

You may find out there are options you did not know were available to you otherwise, and in many cases, it’s worth the investment and taking a chance.

Please contact us if you are seeking financial guidance and before deciding on a team of professionals if you are caught in conflict that may lead you into the legal system.

Founder’s Tip:

Just because many family law attorneys use certain forensic accounting firms that does not mean there is any value to be had in signing a contract, paying a retainer and hoping for the best in the end. Get informed from those who have gone before you in this process. 

The exterior of a Bankruptcy Court building

Data gathered by My Advocate Center shows that there is a way to manage through family conflict without being forced into bankruptcy. Understanding fiduciary duty is a good first step.

Forbes on Bankruptcy After Divorce

“Some people are pushed into bankruptcy by their former spouse. Let’s say they owned a house together but they either don’t want to sell it (because they want the children to keep living there) or they can’t sell it because it’s upside down. One of them agrees to pay the mortgage; it might be the spouse who lives there, or it might be the ex who is supporting him or her. But the mortgage doesn’t get paid. Maybe that spouse eventually files for bankruptcy, and the other one ends up having to file in order to keep the house and catch up on payments, or to discharge their responsibility for the remaining loan.”

What this Forbes article does not spell out is that professional misconduct plays a large role in ensuring that at least one of the parties doesn’t make it – meaning they are not able to maintain stability, to prosper, and to give the best they have to their children. Their best has been undermined and taken away. Many mothers and fathers are filing bankruptcy following divorce and child custody cases, but we believe much of this loss could be avoided.

Avoid BankruptcyWhen you review billing records and communications with child custody experts and between attorneys, you can see that, unfortunately, this is intentional in some cases. It is these cases we refer to when we ask authorities to review cases.

Forbes contributor Emma Johnson makes a sound argument here for paying attention to your credit score and working to protect yourself, but make sure you’re aware of the diligence needed in selecting professionals who will not aim for breaking the bank – your bank – in your family law or child custody case.

Financial matters are a key focus for our professionals belonging to our Resource Directory and for those featured on Pro Advocate Radio.

 

Check out ProAdvocateRadio.com to learn more from one of our financial advisors, Wendy Hayes. Wendy is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and is committed to helping families reset priorities so that their financial resources and time are preserved for themselves and for their children. Listen here to Wendy’s sound counsel.

Social Media on Divorce Corp.

Sometimes people just make sense, including bloggers!

Diana Mercer, co-author of Divorce Works, shared this perfect example on HuffPost:  Link to full article here.

“You don’t have to opt into the litigation system. You don’t have to roll the dice on the judge you’re assigned to, the custody evaluator appointed, and having to pay fees upon fees. You can opt out. And it’s not difficult to opt out. There are lots of choices.

But divorcing people are scared. They’re scared of the future, of the unknown, of the things that their spouse might do.

What most don’t realize is that they really have nothing to fear but fear itself (and maybe litigation lawyers). When a gladiator lawyer says,“I’ll protect you”, the temptation is to believe it. And while I still believe most lawyers really mean that, the truth is that divorce is a business, and lawyers can’t keep their offices open when clients can’t pay. And almost every client runs out of money eventually. Even the wealthy McCourts ended up in bankruptcy after their LA Dodgers-centered divorce fight.”

Another excerpt:

“I finally saw Divorce Corp. Finally. After much banter on Facebook, a barrage of emails, aNew York Times article, and the Huffington Post’s own Paul Raeburn’s review of the film, I finally saw what all the fuss is about.

Finally someone is shaking the snow globe.

Is everything in Divorce Corp. indicative of how litigation works in every case? Of course not. But it does illustrate that when you go to court you take your chances. Are the judges biased? Are they corrupt? Probably not, but you never know. Is your child custody evaluator an extortionist? Probably not, but maybe. And you won’t find out until after the fact.

Atlanta News Radio – Family Court Reform

The gavel dropped to open the 2014 Georgia legislative session, right after this brief segment aired.

All News 106.7 and Scott Kimbler reveal what is going on behind the scenes at My Advocate Center regarding Family Court Reform.

Help us serve the real needs of children who are not being protected due to foul play and hidden influence in certain family court cases.

Play

New Series: What Lawyers Say

Day One:  Lawyer Quote #1

Social Media Rocks.  Why?  Good lawyers are getting the word out.  We are listening.

It is NOT all attorneys and judges involved in wreaking havoc on unsuspecting citizens.

This is anonymous for now, until we have permission to use his name:

“Reforms are definitely needed in [my state]. To establish reforms that benefit the parties will require the participation of family law lawyers who support certain changes, too many which can be listed here.  (MAC: we agree) That said, it’s no secret that the family law system is a business. Additionally, it should be generally understood that model does not serve clients well, unless a client gets lucky and hires a highly ethical and competent family law lawyer who is more interested in resolving the divorce as amicably and efficiently as possible, rather than generating the most billable hours. I’ve seen far too many examples of the latter.

I was told by prior employers that I solved cases too quickly, and that by doing so, I cost that employ tens of thousand of dollars that could have been generated from the case (had I not resolved the parties issues so soon). That’s the primary reason I decided to work for myself, so my hands would not be tied, in terms of helping people resolve their divorce without costing so much, and without the unnecessary generation of conflict.

To put out a fire, one should apply water, not gasoline. Many family law lawyers apply gas to increase the fire. The brighter and longer the fire burns, the more money they make. Of course, one who has a conscience (such as myself) finds this approach beyond deplorable.

Again, it’s no secret (at least within the industry) that most family law lawyers don’t bend over backwards to resolve conflict as quickly as possible, whether their reason is to generate more billable hours, or they lack the skill (professional/legal or interpersonal) to help parties resolve conflict in a competent manner.  (MAC note: why should this secret be kept from the public?)

Most lawyers are adept at conflict. Also, many get into family law for the wrong reason (because there’s plenty of work and it seems like an easy area of law, and it’s also easy to start a solo practice). Hence, parties are at high risk that once they initiate their divorce process and hire a lawyer, that their problems will escalate.”

* This is just one sample: lawyers all over our country are stepping forward to say they are OVER being labeled along with those who commit fraud, breach fiduciary duty, commit legal malpractice…or who are just plain lazy or greedy, or all of the above.

Keep it coming!

#Courage #ThrowawayClient

problem_solved

What many lawyers – not all – want you to do